The Power of Forgiveness

“She called y’all mistakes.”

That’s what my daughter and son were told I had said about them.

When I first heard this, I was so angry I’m pretty sure you could see the steam coming out of my ears and the nails spitting out of my mouth! And when I say “heard,” I mean I audibly heard it from a recording my quick-thinking daughter took without the speaker’s knowledge.

She decided to press record that day during a rant that she’d heard in various forms many times before.

While my daughter was secretly recording this, she and her little brother were being driven to church on a Sunday morning, as their driver and lecturer sipped on a cold, tall beer in a brown paper sack.

(How the driver was able to purchase a beer on a Sunday morning before church in rural Georgia is still up for debate.)

Keep in mind, just before this, I’d been harshly ridiculed for what I thought was a nice shirt I’d sent for my son to wear. It was a nautical-themed shirt with tiny, tiny skull & crossbones on it. I was told how terrible this shirt was and how inappropriate it was for church.

As a side note, the skull & crossbones symbolize our physical mortality and can also be used as a warning for danger, toxicity, or death.

In the words of Alanis Morissette, “isn’t it ironic.”

This is one of many similar incidents that took place over a number of years.

This is one of many lies that were told over a number of years.

This is one of many awful experiences my children endured over a number of years.

Now I want to make this very clear, I’m not sharing this because I want to throw stones. This story is not about revenge.

It’s about forgiveness. 

You see, it took me a long time to process my feelings of anger and resentment for all the things that were done to and said about my children. If you’re a parent, you know the one thing that can make you "madder than a wet hen,” as my friend Mike would say, is someone hurting your children.

That’s a different kind of anger. One that is instinctual. One that can make you do things you wouldn’t normally do. One that can burrow deep into your soul and poison your entire being.

But as the variation of the quote says, “resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

It only hurts YOU. 

It’s been a long, winding road to find my way to forgiveness, but a destination I am so happy to have reached.

I can now say with a clear conscience and a joyful heart, that I have completely forgiven them.

I pray for them often, and hope with every ounce of my being that they find true peace and freedom from the demons they fight.

Because here’s the truth:

We all have our own demons to fight.

We all need love.

We all need forgiveness.

We all need grace.

This most definitely includes me.

But I discovered this really cool trick. I call it the law of God, but you can call it whatever you want.

The more grace we give to others, the more grace is given to us.

And I don’t know about you, but I need all the grace I can get!

So if you take anything away from this story, please let it be this:

Do not hold on to anger and resentment. Feel it fully, process it completely, then, as Elsa says, “LET IT GO!”

Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Love, and you will be loved.

Give grace, and you will be given grace.

Love,

Christie